"When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand and you show that you do, you can love, and the situation will change". -Thich Nhat Hanh.
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It is very easy to cast blame on others but, we don't want to be blamed. We easily cast blame on others, making them feel bad and insecure. Blaming is destructive. Criticism can also be interchangeably used for blame. But, whenever you criticize, make it a constructive one.
The reason some relationships did not stand the test of time was BLAME. One or both parties in a relationship are busy blaming each other or the person that made a mistake. When this happen, one or both of them will feel defensive which put the relationship in jeopardy. (And they will end where they started)
The 'blamer' will never have time to take care of his own things. He is prone to failure because he will always be thinking someone is responsible for his not able to do things right.
Don't direct your critique at the person, but the deed. And all shall be well.
Break the habit of blaming. Crowd blaming out of your mind. Try what Yogi Raman referred to as opposition thinking. Try to see things at the other end.
Stop the blaming... It destroys!
© Obembe S.D (SirPhren)